Mattress Moments

Ah, summer in the south of Italy - the beach, the lilting language, the freshly prepared food, the...mattresses?! That's right. Imagine my surprise during a recent stint in that lovely boot-shaped country, when I was awakened by a garbled, poorly amplified voice bearing down on my dwelling. "Mattresses," the voice said, "one space, one and a half, even two spaces. Mattresses." The voice grew louder, then faded away. I rushed to the window just in time to see a large truck loaded with just that - mattresses - rounding the corner, its driver clutching the steering wheel in one hand and a megaphone in the other. Was I imagining things? True, life was stressful lately, but...

A few hours later another truck drove by, with a voice equally loud and equally deadpan: "Mattresses." So there was competition?! The drivers clearly didn't care if they sold any or not, but apparently they did; as the week went on, I got used to the occasional drone of the megaphones and started seeing mattresses - sprawled out on street corners, propped up against doorframes, peeking coquettishly out of giant trash bins - in short, everywhere I turned. Was it true, or was it me?

And wait 'til you hear about the scissor-sharpener!